[main] - [updates] - [my fanfiction] - [recommendations] - [livejournal] - [about me] - [miscellaneous] - [guestbook] - [webrings]

Max awoke with a start as he was backhanded across the face. The slap was not hard but it was enough to cause the sudden rush of adrenalin that was now zipping through his system. It took a moment for him to realize that he had been hit by the flailing arm of one Lt. John Matheson. Max took a few deep breaths and gently opened the telepathic link they shared.

What Max saw chilled him to the bone. John was having a nightmare. A horrific vision of men in black tearing at his mind. Max saw himself dressed in a black Psi Cop uniform complete with gloves, standing over the proceedings with a cold smile. Although Max had only shared John's bed a week, he had already seen three of these night terrors. John never seemed to remember them in the morning. The only evidence of their existence was the tangled bed sheets and the occasional bruise Max suffered from the young man's thrashing. Some part of him thought he should bring this up to John; but the relationship was still so new and fragile, and Max didn't know how John would react to him invading his dreams.

Max took another breath and opened the link wider. He slipped into the nightmare image of himself.

"John, wake up you're having a dream," he ordered.

"NO!" John screamed, clutching his head "They took you; they took you!" Max pealed off the gloves and touched John's face-cold and pale in this dream world.

"John, wake up; you're having a dream. You're safe on the Excalibur, and it's all just a dream. I'm right next to you; please wake up." John's eyes fluttered open, the pupils large and dark against the whites that seemed to glow. The panic rose in John for a moment before he remembered where he was and whom he was with.

[It was just a dream, John,] Max spoke into his mind, [You're safe. Go back to sleep.]

John's eyes fluttered closed again as Max gathered him up in his arms. The lieutenant quickly drifted back into a dreamless sleep. Max doubted that the telepath would remember the dream come morning. Max however lay awake staring into the darkness. That dream had disturbed him far more than it had probably disturbed the dreamer. Max knew where it came from. They hadn't discussed it since their first night together, but Max knew that as a latent telepath sooner or later they would have to face Mr. Jones and the remnants of the Corps. Max hoped it was later rather than sooner. Looking down at John's face that was almost childlike in its peacefulness, Max decided that worrying, waiting, plotting, and planning could wait until morning.

***

Max was hunched over his morning coffee allowing the steam to wash over his face. It was a comfortable feeling of warmth that seemed to seep into his sore bones. And, yes, he was sore. A good sore, but sore nonetheless. Max listened with half an ear to the gossip that fluttered around him in the mess hall. Nothing about him or John that he could hear, but word had it that Galen had come in last night after doing his usual disappearing act for a few days. Max smiled at that. He and John had decided that while they were not going to try to hide their relationship, they were not going to flaunt it either. It had become something of a game in their minds. How long would it take people to figure it out? More specifically how long would it take Galen to figure it out, and how much could Max needle him beforehand. Max took a few more gulps of coffee and gathered up his notes before heading up to the bridge for the weekly briefing.

Max stepped into the transport tube heading towards the bridge only to come face to face with one Technomage who Max had always suspected wasn't much of a morning person. Max, filled with the sense of invincibility that a new love brings decided to have fun.

"Good Morning, Galen," He greeted the mage with a chipperness that had no business existing before noon, unless, of course, you were getting laid on a regular basis.

"Max," Galen greeted with a curt nod.

"Lovely morning, isn't it?"

Galen gave him a cold look. "And what exactly is so lovely about it?"

"The sun is shining; the birds are singing." Max emphasized his points with large sweeping gestures.

"We are in space, Max; there is no sun and there are no birds"

"True, there are no sun or birds here; but it doesn't mean they aren't somewhere."

Before Galen could reply the doors opened letting the two men onto the bridge of the Excalibur.

"Good morning all!" Max announced to the bridge crew at large.

Everyone froze. John developed a sudden cough to hid his almost hysterics. The captain, who'd been talking to Doctor Chambers, turned slowly in his chair.

"Good morning, Mr. Eilerson," He said carefully. The look on the captain's face clearly said that he expected Max to start frothing at the mouth and chewing on the deck plates any moment now.

"Captain." He said brightly. "Doctor, John."

If anyone caught the use of the lieutenant's first name they didn't let it show.

[Have to be in the spotlight, don't you, Max,] John sent with a mental giggle.

[Oh, I thought I'd just mess around with their sense of the universe.]

[That's what we have Galen for.]

[Speaking of... I'll tell you later.] Max flashed another smile around the room. "I'll be setting up in the conference room if anyone needs me." Max practically skipped off the bridge, whistling a popular Mars tune, leaving John to fend off yet another fit of threatening giggles. The captain looked around at everyone after Max had left did bridge.

"Did that seem fundamentally wrong to anyone else here or was it just me?"

There were generally nods and murmurs of agreement around the bridge.

"Maybe he got laid last night," John started kicking himself. All those years of practicing keeping his mouth shut had just flown out the window. The captain was giving him an incredulous look while the rest of the bridge crew did their best not to laugh.

"I know we're all a little desperate for some things on this ship, but who would be that desperate?"

John resisted the urge to raise his hand.

"Anything's possible." Was John's reply.

The captain gave a standard non-committal grunt and went back to his discussion with the ship's doctor. John stood in his place for a few more minutes when the feeling of eyes on the back of his head got to be a little distracting. He turned around to find Galen staring at him with his head tilting from one side to the other as if trying to x-ray the younger man's head, which for all John knew was exactly what he was doing.

"Is there something I can help you with, Galen?"

"No, Mr. Matheson. Everything is just fine. Thank you." Galen turned away and stalked into the conference room.

'Oh, boy, ' John thought, 'what did Max do to our resident Technomage?'

***

The staff meeting went smoothly for the most part. There was a little disagreement on how to tackle their next world, seeing as how it was no longer a world, but rather a large ring of asteroids, some of them miraculously still containing ruins of the civilization that must have once existed there. As the meeting came to a close, Galen approached the captain.

"Matthew, may I speak with you a moment?"

"Sure thing, Galen, what's up?"

"I believe that there is something odd going on among certain members of your senior staff."

"John and Max? Yeah, I noticed that too. They've both been bright, happy, perky, and civil to one another. John seems to be coming out of his shell; and Max has become almost tolerable, so whatever is happening can't be all that bad."

Galen raised an eyebrow at the captain of the Excalibur.

"You're curious and want to go snooping around, don't you, Galen?"

"I would hardly call it snooping, Matthew."

"I make it a policy that as an Earth Force officer I keep out of the lives of my crew, even if it is my first officer and head archeologist." Captain Gideon turned as if the matter was closed.

"So, shall I keep you posted if I find anything interesting?"

Matthew sighed. Galen knew him far too well. "If it's not too much trouble."

Galen smiled and left the room with a slight spring in his step. If there was one thing he loved it was a mystery.

***

John took two steps into his rooms before flopping down without the slightest bit of grace into the nearest chair. The first half of the day had gone as smooth as silk. The second half had been a little harder. There had been a fight in the mess hall during lunch over (of all the ridiculous things) who would win in a fight, Captain Incredible or the Red Knight. John had gotten a quick refresher in current comic book heroes, after chewing out the two young pilots. That crisis had just been cleaned up, when some junior grade technician managed to short out the jump engine monitoring system. Even though the engines were fine, the computer kept trying to tell everyone that the ship was about to blow up. The rest of the day had been made up of a handful of minor crises and a mound of paperwork, and all John wanted to do now was close his eyes and sleep for a million years. Instead his door chimed.

"Come in."

"Hey, there." Max stepped in, his arms loaded down with trays from the mess hall. "I had a funny feeling earlier that you wanted to eat in tonight." He sat the trays down in John's small kitchen space. "Long day?"

"No longer than most, I guess. Just a little more stupidity running around today than normal." Max sat on the floor by John's feet and pulled off the lieutenant's boots with easy efficiency. John closed his eyes as Max began to work the muscles of his feet. "Max, I could kiss you for this."

"I'll hold you to that."

"I'm sure you will."

"One of the few useful things I learned from Cynthia. How to give a good foot rub, and how to pick out lawn furniture." John couldn't help laughing at the mental image of Max Eilerson picking out lawn furniture. "What? Everyone needs lawn furniture sooner or later."

"Even on Mars?"

"Especially on Mars."

"Do you get the sets with or without plastic flamingos?"

"Ha, ha." Max started working on the other foot, once again drawing out highly contented sighs from John.

"Max?"

"Yes, John."

"Who would win in a fight -- Captain Incredible or the Red Knight?" Max looked at him like he has just asked which way was up.

"The Red Knight, of course. The greatest superhero ever. Born from he ancient red sands of Mars, he strives to bring justice and equality to the galaxy." It was fairly obvious which hero Max had read under the covers late at night.

"Let me guess, Captain Incredible is from Earth."

"With a dippy name like that, what do you think? Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it just kinda came up today." John now understood what the argument had really been about. Not which superhero was better, but which planet had the better superhero. Old grudges die hard. "The corps didn't let us read comic books."

"Shame. They're one of the most perfect inventions for simultaneously stimulating and rotting the mind. I'll have to get you some the next time we're on shore leave."

"Can we go to a video arcade, too?"

"Only if you're a good boy and do all your homework." John laughed at the pure silliness of the statement. "You know, you're beautiful when you do that..." The comment caught John by surprise.

"Do what, Max?"

"Laugh, smile. You seem to radiate." There was a wistfulness in his voice as he gazed up into a pair of deep dark eyes.

[Then I'll try to always be happy for you, Max.] John leaned over and captured Max's lips in a soft kiss. Not even their minds spoke as the two men simply enjoyed the feeling of kissing one another. The tips of their tongues slid gently over one another while warm soft lips simply brushed against the other pair. Both men were content to simply be like this for eternity and just might have gone for a record if John's stomach hadn't objected to the situation loudly. It was Max's turn to sit back and laugh.

"Shall I serve dinner, Mr. Matheson?"

"That would be lovely, Mr. Eilerson."

The cook had whipped up what were supposedly Philly Cheese Steak sandwiches. What the meat actually was neither man decided to ask.

[So?] John asked with his mouth around a gooey hunk of bread, [What did you do to Galen this morning?]

[I'll show you; it was hysterical.] Max opened his mind and did an instant replay of his encounter of with Galen that morning. John had to admit that the look on Galen's face was truly priceless.

[You know he's going to go nuts trying to find out what's up with you.]

[I know, that's the funny bit.]

[You have a warped sense of humor, Max]

[Me. Warped? This is from Mr. 'Let's put live chickens in the Psi Corps office and see what happens'.]

[What?!] John feigned innocence. [Everyone else thought it was funny. Besides, I was what -- 12? 13? I can hardly be held responsible for the actions of my youth.] Max shook his head and idly wondered how much of his past John remembered from the mind link they had shared.

[If the captain knew about this side of you...]

[He'd probably be in on it.] Max shuddered slightly at the mental image it brought up.

[It would be like working for a pair of frat boys.]

[That why I play the straight man on the bridge. Someone has to keep the captain in line.]

[I hope you weren't planning on playing the straight man tonight.] Max leered and wiggled his eyebrows. John flung a piece of crust, bouncing it off of Max's head.

[That was a terrible pun, Max. Bad IPX Man! Bad! No cookie!]

"Oh, that's all right, John, I wasn't planning on cookies for dessert." Max's words and the images he sent along them, bypassed all higher cognitive functions and went right for John's libido. John felt his pants grow impossibly tight impossibly fast. He stood up fast enough to knock over his chair. In two steps he had gone around the table and was now standing inches from the still seated Max. Max marveled at the way his lover could go from zero to sixty in a half second flat. From his position Max could easily see the lust in his lover's eyes and a distinct tightening in the gray uniform pants in front of him. John took up Max's face in both hands and leaned over pressing his lips against Max's with an almost brutal intensity. Max sighed with pleasure. Some part of him liked to play with fire, liked hacking, liked slumming, like pushing Galen's buttons, and liked bringing out the side of John that was on the verge of simply throwing him on the floor and taking him right there. Finally, Max broke away gasping for air.

"Bedroom. Now." John growled low in his throat. Max jumped and practically ran to the bedroom they now shared, peeling away the layers of clothing as he went. He sat on the edge of bed, yanking off his pants and boxers as quickly as possible. He wanted to be naked. He loved the feeling of John's skin pressed up against his. Max looked up in time to see John closing the bedroom door. His shirt was off and his feet were still bare from before dinner. He made his way to Max with just a few quick steps locking eyes with his lover as he went. Max didn't get up but rather wrapped his arms around his lover's narrow waist, trailing kisses along the muscles of John's tight stomach. He eased the gray uniform pants down past John's hips, revealing his large erect cock already a deep shade of red. Max took the shaft all the way into his mouth in one quick motion, causing John to thrust forward and cry out in surprise. He took his time drawing John out of his mouth. He did a slow circle with his tongue along the way feeling John sigh into the movement. John laced his fingers into his lover's short fine hair getting a good grip. Max smiled, his mouth still around John's weeping organ. John knew what he liked. Their passions ranged from infinitely tender to almost brutal; there was little if no mid-ground.

Max continued to work over the lovely piece before him, bringing John almost to the breaking point then letting him cool off. He rolled John's balls gently in his hands, bringing out sharp gasps from John as the younger man tried to hold out just a little longer. It was too much. John pushed away with a growl while Max dropped to his knees beside the bed, grinning like the cat who'd gotten the cream. He felt John's strong fine hands spread his cheeks while the thick blunt end of John's cock found its intended target. John drove in, drawing a cry of pain and pleasure from Max's lips. John held there deep for a moment, loving the sensation of Max's muscles clenching around him. He slowly backed out hearing Max hiss at the emptiness. Driving in again, John reached around grabbing his lover's cock, which was swollen and weeping. With his hand he teased Max almost as unmercifully as Max had teased him. Their minds reached out for one another, linking and melding, each feeling what the other felt as they came in great spasms, spilling into and onto each other.

John slid from on top of Max, flopping down on the floor at the foot of the bed. He lay there panting, while Max somehow managed to crawl onto the bed where he lay also panting for air. Finally, John managed to join his lover on the bed although he wasn't sure how he'd made it, considering his bones felt like they had been liquefied. The two lay draped over one another looking into each other's eyes. Max was sure that he could loose himself in those dark eyes forever given half the chance. John stirred enough to kiss Max on the tip of the nose and then gently on the lips.

"Did I mention that I think I love you, Mr. Eilerson?" Max smiled even as his heart clenched in his chest. Those had been almost the exact same words Cynthia had spoken a few months into their courtship.

"No, I don't think you have."

"I've never been in love, so I don't know; but I'm pretty sure I love you."

"After Cynthia, I was afraid to love anything that wasn't a sure thing; but I don't think you've given me much of a choice, Mr. Matheson." John smiled and kissed him again.

[Max, can we just stay like this forever?]

[Sure.]

[Really?]

[Or until the alarm goes off in the morning. Whichever comes first.]

***

Galen was staring into a now darkened sphere. He had been watching for some time now, but he was not able to tear his eyes away from it. Or from the scene he had just witnessed. Galen didn't really consider himself a voyeur. He had only meant to peek in on the young first officer to get a clue as to why he and Max seemed so cheery around each other. Some part of Galen felt he should be mad at Max for seducing the younger man, but idle factices hold no property rights and between the domestic scene and the sex he had just witnessed, there was a definite question of who had actually seduced who.

'Well, Galen,' he thought, 'Now that you have this information. What are you going to do with it?' His first thought was that he should tell Matthew. The more he thought about it; the more he liked the idea. A smile slowly spread across Galen's lips. Yes, a nighttime visit to see Matthew seemed like a very good idea indeed.

***

The captain heard his door chime. He had been about to hop into bed, and he seriously hoped whatever it was could wait until morning.

"Come in."

"Good evening, Matthew." Galen slid in on silent feet.

"Galen, this is a surprise."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you usually don't bother to knock."

Galen ignored the minor jab. He had always given Matthew a leniency not afforded to others.

"Is there something I can do for you?"The captain asked.

"Yes, there is; but we'll come to that later. Right now I have something for you."

"And that is...?"

"Information."

"About what?"

"Your first officer and a current employ of Interplanetary Expeditions."

Matthew Gideon sat up a little straighter. Galen knew he now had the captain's attention.

"What about them?"

"Well, apparently they're sleeping together." There was a brief silence

"Wait, wait, wait. Say that again."

"Mr. Matheson and Mr. Eilerson are sleeping together among other things."

Matthew's jaw dropped, and there were several seconds of silence before he remembered how to speak.

"What!?"

"Yes, that was my response. It appears they are sleeping together, eating together, talking together, and doing all such things that couples do together."

"I can't believe, John -- Max, Max -- John. I can't believe John would be seduced by..."

"Oh, I don't believe a lot of seduction went on. Or if it did, it was mainly on John's part. At least judging by what I saw."

Galen watched while the captain of the Excalibur became quite animated and paced about the room in no particular pattern. Suddenly he stopped.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, let's peek in on the happy couple, shall we."

Before Matthew could say that it really wasn't necessary, Galen produced a small globe in his hand. In it could easily be seen Max and John nestled under what looked to be satin sheets. Max's head was resting on John's bare chest, and the younger man ran his fingers lightly through his lover's hair. Matthew was holding out all right until Max tilted his head up and kissed John. Even from that small orb the kiss seemed to light up the room.

"Turn it off, Galen."

Galen obliged and the orb disappeared into wherever it had come from. Matthew sat down hard trying to think up something to say. He didn't even notice when Galen sat down next to him. He kept running that brief scene around and around his head. Finally he looked over at Galen.

"I wouldn't expect John for the satin-sheet type."

Galen threw back his head and laughed over the triteness of the comment.

"I have a feeling that after a rather repressed Psi Corps upbringing there is a lot of Mr. Matheson that doesn't appear on the surface."

"I'll buy that. But Max?"The Captain had always figured Max for being straight; and as the ships quintessential pain in the ass, distinctly unbedable. Galen shrugged, deciding not to mention that from the looks of things the IPX man could give a decent blowjob. Gideon rubbed his face. "Oh, well, I can't exactly walk in on them now, I'll worry about it in the morning. Now, you said there was something I could do for you?" A smile tugged at the edge of Galen's lips.

"Yes, Matthew, I believe there is."

Gideon shivered as Galen's hot breath caressed his face.

"And that is?"

"Oh, I think you know."

Galen reached out and gently trailed his fingers across Matthews jaw line. The captain shivered again as the touch sent waves of electricity through his body. He turned his head to find his face barely a breath away from Galen's. The normal piercing blue of Galen's eyes had disappeared to nothing more than a thin ring around his deep black pupils. Gideon knew exactly what Galen wanted. The same thing he had wanted ten years ago. The same thing Gideon still remembered with a dream-like haze. Almost as if it had never happened.

Gideon bridged the almost non-existent gap between their lips. He felt Galen smile even as their tongues and lips meet in a sweet embrace. Galen had wondered if Matthew had allowed himself to remember those portions of their time together. Judging by the hand working its way around his waist, the answer was yes. After what seemed like hours, Galen tore his lips away, his body still pressed against Gideon's.

"Would you care to dance again?"

The captain nodded yes. His body sending signals to shut down some functions and send others into overdrive.

"Good."

The two men stood in unison and turned towards the captain's bedroom. Gideon was undressed in a matter of seconds, seeing as how he had not been wearing much to begin with. Galen was close behind, but biding his time as he undressed carefully removing layer after layer. Gideon watched as the alien fabrics, heavy with metals and magic, pooled on the floor around Galen's legs, revealing marble white flesh. The two men stood for a moment just gazing at one another. Galen's flesh was ghostly white with odd splashes of color. Gray and gold where circuitry met flesh. Blue eyes appearing dark with lust, and other parts deep red where Galen's desire was more than evident. Gideon moaned at the sight and allowed himself to be caught in another kiss. This time however hot flesh pressed against hot flesh. The two sank to the bed somehow not losing their kiss or contact. Galen let his kisses trail down Gideon's neck, nipping here and sucking there, marking Matthew as his once more. Matthew threw back his head barely able to control his breathing. As his cock rubbed against Galen's it sent shockwaves through his system bringing him perilously close to coming. A gasp and cry escaped his lips as Galen rose off him. The sudden air on his flesh seemed almost frigid compared to Galen's heat. Galen was kneeling between his lover's legs examining the body before him.

"You've filled out a bit in ten years, Matthew." Galen brushed the back of his hands across Matthew's nipples drawing a hiss. "A few new scars, a little more wear and tear but all in all quite nice." Matthew's cock throbbed uncomfortably and he felt a desperate emptiness.

"Galen, please. I need you. I need you in me."

"Yes, I believe you do." Galen reached under as Matthew arched his hips up. He inserted one well-lubed finger, although how or when that had happened Matthew couldn't figure out. "Have you had anyone in you since we last did this dance, Matthew?"The captain shook his head -- no. "I see,"Galen inserted another finger, gently stretching the tight muscles. "Then I shall have to be gentle for now. Ten years, you're practically a virgin again." Matthew almost came right then and there, just from the mage's words. He pumped himself onto Galen's fingers no longer truly able to control his body. "All in good time, Matthew." Galen slid in a third, stretching the captain and slicking his insides. "Are you ready?"

'What kind of a question is that,' Gideon thought. He nodded his head. Galen maneuvered the younger man's legs onto his shoulders. He positioned himself and with an almost inhuman self-control he slowly drove his way in. Gideon alternated between gritting his teeth and gasping for air. He did feel like a virgin again. Alternating waves of pain and pleasure crashing together to form a fog about his mind. He could think of nothing else but Galen's cock deep inside of him. It seemed to take an eternity, but Matthew soon found himself completely impaled on Galen's swollen shaft. Galen backed halfway out and thrust back in with a little more strength and speed, but not too much. They had patience and staying power. Matthew thrashed beneath Galen, forcing him to hold his lover's hips steady. He alternated between long leisurely strokes and quick hard thrusts. Finally, even Galen ran out of patience. He drove himself in and out of his lover with an intensity guaranteed to make Matthew sore tomorrow. Feeling himself about to cum, Galen reached around and took his lover's cock into his hand. It only took a few quick strokes for Matthew to cry out Galen's name and shoot onto his own stomach and chest. A brief moment after that Galen cried out himself, spilling deep into his lover in quantities. Matthew's tight passage did a good job of milking him and after a moment Galen removed himself from his lover to flop on the bed next to the captain of the Excalibur. Matthew was flushed from the experience. Sweat glistened on both bodies.

"Thank you, Matthew."

"No, thank you, Galen. I'd forgotten how much I'd enjoyed that."

"Don't thank me yet, Matthew. The night is still young." A shiver ran down the captain's spine.

"That's OK, Galen, I wasn't actually planning on sleeping tonight anyways..."

***

Max walked onto the bridge of the Excalibur with a slightly nervous bounce in his step. John turned to see who had entered. It wasn't actually necessary, he had felt Max's distinct presence the moment he had stepped onto the command deck, but they were still trying to keep up appearances.

"Mr. Eilerson, what can I do for you?"

"I've come to see the captain."

"He's in his office."

[Ten credits says he knows.] Max sent.

John cringed internally.

[Already?]

[Yep. I'll see you at lunch.] Max headed off to have his meeting with the inevitable. He had gone to his quarters this morning to pick up some clean clothes and had found a message sent some time late last night that the captain wanted to see him some time today, at his convince. No mention as to what it was about but Max had a good idea. He knew that putting it off would just make it harder so he took the bull by the horns and marched his way up to the captain's office. The doors to the captain's office slid open.

"Hello, Mr. Eilerson."

"Captain, you wanted to see me."

"Um, yes, actually." He had not expected Max this early. "Take a seat."

Max felt a nervousness in the pit of his stomach. The last time he had felt like this was when Mikey's parents had almost caught them making out in the hydroponics garden.

"I'm going to get right to the point. Are you having a relationship with Mr. Matheson?"

"Yes."

The captain blinked a few times. He had expected Eilerson to deny the relationship or tell him that it wasn't any of his business. Which it wasn't. This direct answer had thrown him a little more off. Max smiled.

"Anything else I can do for you, Captain?"

"May I ask just how seriously you are taking this relationship?"

"About as seriously as I've taken anything else in my life." Max knew that was a double-edged answer, but if there was one thing he hated doing it was defending himself like this, and if was anyone but the captain he wouldn't be answering at all. "Don't you think John should be in on this little conversation of ours?"

"Oh, I plan to talk with John later, but I wanted to talk to you first."

"I'm honored." Max answered dryly.

"Mr. Eilerson. I consider John a good friend, almost like a brother. We've been through a lot together and as long as he's happy, I'm happy; but if you hurt him, I swear you'll..."

"Captain!" Max cut in with such venom Gideon couldn't help but fall silent.

"I am not an easy man to love, and I do not love easily; but I love John. I've spent the last week wondering when I'm going to wake up from this dream, when he's going to come to his senses and realize that he could do much better than a divorced, middle aged, corporate puppet and send me packing." Max slowed down feeling the impact of his own words on himself. "I would give him the stars on a sliver platter if he asked. But he doesn't ask. For some reason I have yet to fathom all he asks for is me and that is something I'm perfectly willing to give."

Captain Gideon nodded slowly, more than a little surprised to see this side of Max.

"I see. Well then. Thank you for your time, Mr. Eilerson. Could you tell John I want to see him when he has a moment?"

Max gave a curt nod and stalked out. He paused as John came into his line of sight. Only a slight flick of John's eye let Max know he'd been seen.

[How'd it go?]

[He knows. I think I scared him. I think I scared myself]

[Do we need to talk?]

[Yes. He wants to see you though.] Max and John walked wordlessly by each other. Someone paying close attention might have seen fingers reach out to try and brush against one another. But the fingers never meet and no one was looking.

John chimed the captain's door and was quickly let in.

"Hey, John, have a seat." John sat, suddenly feeling like he'd been called into the principal's office. "I just talked with Mr. Eilerson."

"I know."

There was a silence as the men collected their thoughts.

"Can I ask a question?"

"Sure."

"Do you love him?"

"I've never been in love before; I've never been allowed to love before, but if it feels like I think it should feel, then, yes, I love him."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Only about a week."

"That's not very long."

"I know, but IPX could recall him next week. I could fail my next review and have to go back to headquarters. The Drakh could attack and kill us all. There's not really a lot of time to go beating about the bush out here."

"You've got a point," the captain took a big breath, "But why Max of all people?"

John was expecting the question and had been asking himself something similar for the last few days.

"Captain, look at me. What am I wearing?"

"A gray and red Earth Force uniform."

"No, Captain, I'm wearing a Psi-Corps uniform."

"Excuse me?" The captain was now fairly sure that his first officer had lost his mind.

"See this," John turned to show the black and gold symbol on his arm. The symbol of the Corps. A symbol that was once feared. "As long as I am forced to wear this patch, it doesn't matter if I'm in an Earth Force uniform or a pink tutu; all people see it the Corps. I am 'First officer John Matheson, The Telepath' and that scares people."

"John, I..."

"Let me finish, Captain. Please. Max doesn't care that I wear this emblem. Actually let me correct that. He does care; he wishes he could rip it off as much as I do. Maybe this will all blow up tomorrow, but for now he allows me to come as close to being human as I've ever been before."

"I've always thought of you as human."

"I know, Captain, and I thank you for that. You're one of the few. Even in Earth Force, I'm one of Them. Do you remember back on the first day of Earth Force training they call out your name and hand you a uniform, and everyone runs to their bunks to try it on and see how good they look."

"Yeah, I remember."

"I didn't even look at mine first, just threw it on. I was turning around in the mirror. Saw the Earth Force emblem, and felt twenty feet tall, saw my cadet patch, my name, then I saw the Greek letter psi, gold on black right there on my arm. It burned. I almost cried right there. The Corps was disbanded but it still followed me and every other telepath. They might as well have tattooed it on our foreheads. The Corps told us we weren't human; we were better than them. Earth Force told us we weren't human; we were lower than that. So low we have to have our loyalty tested every six months." John rose to his feet and paced the small office. "In fact, when Mr. Jones shows up here in six months, he will be able to rip every word of this conversation from my mind. And I'll have to let him if I don't want to loose Max and my place on that bridge."

"John." The captain was starting to get worried as John became more and more agitated. "John, listen to me. As long as you're a member of this crew, we'll keep Mr. Jones at bay somehow. And as long as you're happy, I'm fine with you and Max." John let out a long sigh.

"Thank you, Captain. You know the Max Eilerson you see every day isn't really him."

"I'd kinda gathered that. But I have a feeling the John Matheson I see every day isn't totally you either."

John smiled.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir; we all have our masks to wear."

"Indeed we do. Dismissed."

John left with a nod to resume his place on the bridge. The captain placed his head on the desk and turned on his personal log. "Captain's personal log. My tele... My first officer and my head archeologist are in love. As far as I'm concerned this is a good thing. Max has been almost human in the mornings, and John has displayed a passion I did not know he possessed. I think it's the weirdest pairing since the odd couple, but I'm not exactly one to talk. I only hope that it lasts for both their sakes. End Log."

***

Max was curled up in the corner of John's bed. He had held his composure until he had reached the small apartment. Now he sat there hugging his knees like a child. Waves of chills washed over him. Max would have diagnosed himself with a state of shock if there had been some physical injury. He kept asking himself over and over -- what had happened in the captain's office? He had been his usual witty self, and then something broke deep inside him as he lashed out at the captain. He played back the scene in his mind. It scared him. It had been so long since he'd felt that kind of intensity, since he'd allowed himself the freedom to feel with that much passion. He ran the words over again -- 'He only asks for me'. Max tried to figure out -- when had John become so important? When had John gone from an object of lust to a lover worth defending with his heart and soul? And when would John leave? Max knew that anyone he ever loved left or was taken from him. When would John leave? The question burned his soul.

***

The doors of the lieutenant's quarters whooshed open.

"Max?"John called out. He had become concerned when lunch rolled around, and Max hadn't answered his link. "Max?"John entered his bedroom, his eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light. "Max, are you OK?"John crawled across the bed, and gathered Max into his arms, holding him as the archeologist's body shook.

[Max, what's wrong?] John got no answer just an incoherent jumble of fear, paranoia, and self-doubt. John was shocked. Where had all this come from? This morning he and Max had been fine. What had happened in the few minutes Max was in the captain's office to bring Max to a state of emotional collapse? Even when Max had learned he was a telepath, he hadn't retreated into himself like this.

"Max."

[Max. Max, what's wrong? Come on talk to me!] He felt Max retreat further back into his own mind. John could only follow his love in hopes of finding the root of the problem. John gently probed. Right on top of Max's mind was his conversation with the captain. Or more accurately one line rolled over and over like in a feedback loop. 'I've spent the last week wondering when I'm going to wake up from this dream, when he's going to come to his senses and realize that he could do much better than a divorced, middle aged, corporate puppet and send me packing.' John cringed at the words but followed deeper. He chased Max through the archeologist's personal history of loss. He saw Cynthia slam a door in Max's face. She had had a suitcase in one hand and a cat carrier in the other. Mikey had kissed him soundly before hopping on the ship Max had essentially stolen for him. Then the doors had shut. The next image was of a younger Max throwing a hand full of red Mars soil onto a fresh grave. The head stone bore the name Melissa Eilerson, Wife, Mother, Daughter of Mars. After this last image everything seemed to go as red as the soil then black. John stumbled around in the darkness until he found Max huddled in a corner of his own mind.

"Max, you've got to come out."

"No, no, you'll leave me! Something will happen, and you'll leave me!" Max shouted from his corner.

"I won't leave you, Max."

"No, you'll leave me!"

"I will not leave you and what do you mean: 'I'll leave you' -- I will not leave you. You could leave me; the Corps could take you!" John blinked a few times. 'Where the hell did that come from?' He thought.

"No,"Max whimpered at the thought of the Corps.

John shook his head a few times. One of the two of them had to be in control, and Max was obviously in no state.

"Max, come out please. I need you. I need you to teach me to be human. Max, please." John was getting desperate. He was having a hard time believing that one little conversation could have triggered off a reaction like this. John knew he had to get Max out now. Even if it meant dragging him out kicking and screaming. Psychoanalysis of the problem could come later.

"Max, give me your hand."

Max did nothing.

"Max!"

Max slowly reached out his hand. As it griped John's, a thick black liquid seemed to ooze from their skin, covering their hands. Max screamed. John looked down and saw his own hands covered in the black gloves he had thrown out an airlock so many years ago. John looked up to see Max dressed as a Psi Cop. Max was screaming trying to tear what had also become gloves from his own hands, but they just grew back as if made of something living. John was no longer sure whose wakening nightmare they were in any more but he knew they had to get out and fast. John uttered a few choice phrases he'd picked up from his first Earth Force flight instructor and took a deep breath. He grabbed Max, snapping his blue eyes up to meet black ones.

"Max!" he all but screamed, "This is your mind and you are in absolute control. Snap out of it NOW!"

The shock tactic actually worked. John found himself thrown back into his own mind with such violence he knew he was going to have a headache. He blinked a few times to find himself still on his own bed. Max was still in his arms, covered in sweat as if a fever had broken. He wasn't shaking any more, just sobbing.

"Max?" He asked softly. "Max, can you hear me?"

Max sniffled back tears and nodded his head. He didn't trust his voice, but wanted John to know that he could hear him. John let out a long sigh of relief. Max cried himself out as John worked at putting his own psyche back together. John knew it was a rush job done with bubble gum and duct tape, but it would hold for now.

"Max, do you know what just happened?"

Max thought for a bit.

"I think I just had a break down."

John gave a tired chuckle.

"Yeah, I'll believe that. I think right now we're working on a why."

"I don't know. I was thinking about what I said to the captain, and about losing you. And I got afraid that you'd come back, and the captain would have convinced you that it had all been a mistake. It's not like I've never lost anyone before. Hell, I haven't lost anyone now." Max looked into John's eyes with renewed fear. "Have I?"

"No, Max."

"I don't know what's going on with me. It's like my brain's come unglued. Everything seems sharper almost painful. The colors, the sounds, the..."

"Thoughts."

"Yes,"Max looked as John oddly, "The thoughts. I've never really noticed them before. Before I knew. I thought they were normal. Now it's like there's a whisper in my head. It won't go away. It only goes away when you're in my mind. You block it out."

Max looked at John. If there had been any doubt before in Max's mind of the nature of their relationship they had, it went away. "I need you, John."

"We need each other, Max. I didn't realize until just a few hours ago that I never really left the Corps. I still wear their emblem, follow their rules, and let them run my life. To be in love is the only thing I've truly done that did not have the Corps' stamp of approval on it. I don't know how to live without them, so I need you to teach me, Max." John glanced at the small clock on his bedside table.

"Shit!"

Startled, Max looked at John. He realized he had never heard the lieutenant swear before. "Max, I need to be on the bridge for afternoon shift in five minutes. Can you do something for me?"

"Sure, John."

"I need you to eat and drink something. Increased use of psi abilities messes with your electrolytes to no end. After that I want you to take two mild pain killers and get some sleep."

"But…"

"Shhhh. Max. Eat, then sleep. I'll be back as soon as my shift is over."

Max nodded and rolled off of John, closing his eyes as his head encountered the pillow.

"Max, eat first."

Max nodded and mumbled something about being a civilian. John just shook his head and made a mental note to drop by med lab at the end of his shift because Max was going to have one hell of a headache.

***

Max pried one eye open, as he could no longer block out the gentle calling of his name. He closed it quickly. His head hurt. The last time Max had hurt this bad, it had been just after his divorce when he'd gone on a three day drinking binge and had woken up in a back alley minus his wallet and a perfectly good pair of pants. He felt a small hiss at his neck, at which point a miracle happened and his head began to feel better. He pried an eye open again. This time when he opened his eyes he was able to focus on John's face before him.

"I told you to eat."

"What happened?" Max managed to mumble through practically dead lips.

"You had a breakdown."

Max blinked a few times. Last he'd checked a breakdown did not cause a headache like this.

"And?"

"Use of psi abilities and emotional distress mess up your body chemistry. It's called a reaction headache. It's almost identical to having a hangover except you don't have to consume alcohol to get the same effect."

Max closed his eyes again. The painkiller had taken the edge off the headache but his body still hurt.

"Lovely. What time is it?"

"Almost seven. You've been asleep for a while now. I think you needed it."

Max groaned and tried to sit up. John slipped an arm under his back to help him up. Max looked over and for the first time noticed the dark circles that seemed to have appeared under the younger man's eyes.

"John, are you alright?"

John forced a smile.

"I'm fine."

"Liar."

"I'm better than you."

"That's not saying much right now."

"Point. I just spent the second half of my shift then some time afterwards, trying to figure some things out."

Max cringed.

"Your own mind is always the scariest place to go." Max whispered having just been there himself.

"Tell me about it."

There was a silence as both men contemplated their recent mental journeys.

"So, find anything interesting rummaging around up there, Lieutenant?"

"Actually, yes. I'd sooner steal a shuttle and head for the rim before I'd let a so renamed Psi Cop lay one finger on you."

Max nodded and desperately hoped it would never come to that.

"I'd like to do a proper psi test because I think you're at a higher rating that I originally thought."

"How much higher?" Max's mouth went dry at this latest bit of news.

"Not too much higher. I think you'll top off at P2."

Max nodded slowly, carefully keeping himself in one piece.

"Any other revelations?"

"I don't care who knows about us anymore."

Max smiled this time, a genuine smile full of joy and promise for the future.

"You know, you're beautiful when you do that."

"Stealing my lines, Lieutenant."

"Only the good ones."

Max smiled again.

"Are we going to be all right, Max?"

"Yes, John, I think we're going to be all right."

<<<< back to the "Crusade" recommendations	back to the main index >>>>
<<<< back to the main recommendations page	back to Storyteller's Campsite >>>>